“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” (When asked to make a sentence with the word ‘horticulture.’)
“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
“Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.”
“Tell him I was too fucking busy– or vice versa.”
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
“And if my heart be scarred and burned,
The safer, I, for all I learned.”